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  1. #1
    Danteist Member Alfonso de Sabio's Avatar
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    Default Alfonso is BACK!

    So yeah, I'm back from my 25 month hiatus. I'm currently working on getting some of the things I wrote over that time onto paper so I can post it up here, but for now I'll just post this thing that I'd forgotten I wrote. It's called Double Portrait, and it's inspired by the attached painting.

    Tell me what you think!
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    Get sheet music here!
    If you want to hear some of my compositions, click here.
    You can still hear Beethoven, but Beethoven cannot hear you.
    -- Monty Python

  2. #2

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    *Comment later*

    OMG ALFONSO! What brings you back here? The last time I remember you here you said you were going through some crazy moving, if I remember correctly? And I don't know if you were here that far back, but this is Maestro (had a name change quite some time ago).

    Milchh's Transcription & Arrangement Request Thread!


    Repertoire
    Bach: Prelude and Fugue in Bb minor, WTK Bk. II
    Schubert: Piano Sonata in A minor, D. 845 Op. 42
    Satie: Desiccated Embryos
    Debussy: Étude No. 1, 'pour les cinq doigts' L. 136
    Prokofiev: Piano Sonata No. 7 in Bb Major, Op. 83
    Rachmaninoff: Piano Concerto No. 1 in F# minor, Op. 1


  3. #3

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    25 months? That's a long time.

    Anyway, badass song! It totally fits the painting, but it also sounds like something I would hear in a video game.

  4. #4
    Believe and achieve. :] Member ajamesu's Avatar
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    Hey Alfonso, welcome back! I returned from my 15-month hiatus about a month ago.

    You built the piece up pretty well, I love how you snuck in the bassoon. Good build-up of the strings. I feel that the strings cut off too abruptly at ~1:29. At the part that starts ~2:13, I feel that there's something missing. It might need more accompaniment? Unless you intend this piece to be incidental. Nice wrap-up.


    A lonely soul . . . an ocean soul . . .

  5. #5
    Moderately moderating Member Noir7's Avatar
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    May 2004
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    Wow blast from the past! An old member with the worst avatar I've ever seen! Welcome back Alfonso, it's been a while.

    To be honest this piece up until the 00:50 mark is quite brilliant, and as zippy mentioned it does match that creepy painting. The following parts though felt like a TV show which has surpassed its peak, only to release new seasons to keep money rolling in.

  6. #6
    Danteist Member Alfonso de Sabio's Avatar
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    I agree most with Noir7. Your post made me laugh out loud. That's how I felt when I was writing it--It has such a great opening, but I just couldn't think of any really good ways to keep it going, so I just slopped down some trash.

    THIS, however, is different. It's a fantasy for piano that I wrote exclusively on pianos in Toronto. I changed a few parts of it as I was putting it on paper. Tell me what you think.

    I would REALLY like someone to record it as well, if anybody likes it. The midi doesn't do it justice (especially on the last few measures), but I'm a crappy pianist (as you can tell by the score), my piano's out of tune, and I don't have any recording materials. So I'll post the PDF for any lovely soul out there that would like to record it. It's easier than it sounds.
    Attached Files
    Get sheet music here!
    If you want to hear some of my compositions, click here.
    You can still hear Beethoven, but Beethoven cannot hear you.
    -- Monty Python

  7. #7
    Moderately moderating Member Noir7's Avatar
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    This piece deserves a little more attention that it has gotten. I'm not one for long reviews, so here goes: I like the backbone of this piece (the Dun--Duun-duun dun, you know? It sounds like "Stories" from Code Geass; youtube-it). Not tooooo sure about calling it a fantasy, although that's a pretty dumb thing to criticize if you think about what "fantasy" actually means so... ignore that. Following the music while reading the sheets was to me sort of like a musical adventure. I do wish that the pounding Code-Geass chords and the other parts would've been woven together somewhat better though; I imagine this song as a long thread of of different colours, switching color everytime the composition enters a new section. My wish is to make this song keep that "thready" sense, and although the colours should still vary -- their changing should be interwoven somehow so that you really don't notice the thread changing colour.

    Bloody good work, this. It just needs a good deal of dusting!

  8. #8
    Danteist Member Alfonso de Sabio's Avatar
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    Yeah, I was kind of disappointed by how it was ignored as well. I honestly think it's my best piano piece to date. I agree that the transitions are rocky. I was just never good at transitions. Anybody know a good source that teaches transition writing?
    Get sheet music here!
    If you want to hear some of my compositions, click here.
    You can still hear Beethoven, but Beethoven cannot hear you.
    -- Monty Python

  9. #9

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    Study Tchaikovsky; you know that he's the best bridge builder.

    Uhm, I do like this piece, but I feel that it's a little below your level, that's why I didn't comment on it before (and, yes, the MIDI doesn't do it justice; it's one of those piece that can have the excuse.) I wish I did have a recorder, or just a better mic-program to record, because I would in an INSTANT.

    I'll edit this post later, but I must say my favourite part is at 55 when you have the intertwining parts with the hands. And my lest favourite would be a toss up between 45; it just seems like a bunch of out-of-time scales and chords (I used to do that A LOT in my older pieces, one which was performed publically) and this kind of continues until 54. And I would just take out the accel in the parts at 20, 25, etc.

    More later.

    EDIT:

    Alright, so the climax in 50 isn't something I'm too fond of either. It just seems like a lot of uncreative chords to build up using only dynamics and not *substancial* any musical drama.

    Basically, you already hit the nail on the head of what you need to do. You have kind of a nice form and the main theme comes back appropriately, with dynamic variation. Maybe it's because the piano part isn't very challenging or interesting (but you already admitted you aren't much of a pianist yourself) that it doesn't add interest to me. Being a pianist, I could tell you all the possibilities of how you could use that simple theme, but make it a little bit more pianistic, other than adding octaves and a bunch of hand-over-hand runs up and down the piano. Experiment with melody a little bit more, and add more chords with those octaves-- maybe some suspensions might make it a tad more interesting?

    But as you and Noir got to already, it's the transitions which are the weigh on the piece. I wasn't kidding when I said Tchaikovsky. In A LOT of his pieces you can find example of great transitions and bridges. One of my favourites is the third movement of the Piano Concerto No. 1 in Bb minor; it's famous, you probably know it. The part I am talking about consists of near the end; the orchestra does a bunch of chord building up, and the woodwinds keep playing the theme over in a climatic way; the piano, at the end of the first part of the climax, comes in with these cadanza-like octaves all of the piano, which ends with octaves and chords REALLY high and ritarandos then stops-- at that point Tchaikovsky juiced all of the thematic material and virtuosity out in about 30 seconds or so, and then he bursts out this HUGE theme which is the final melody you hear and ends! I'm sure you'll get a lot just from analyzing that last movement, there's a lot of transitions he uses effectively.

    I say, my good friend, that this piece has the most potential I've seen from ANYONE on this forum in quite a bit. It's all there, you just have to figure out how to work with it, and I'm sure you and some others know what I mean. Keep these themes, as they're easy to work with. Good luck.
    Last edited by Milchh; February 4th, 2009 at 01:10 pm.

    Milchh's Transcription & Arrangement Request Thread!


    Repertoire
    Bach: Prelude and Fugue in Bb minor, WTK Bk. II
    Schubert: Piano Sonata in A minor, D. 845 Op. 42
    Satie: Desiccated Embryos
    Debussy: Étude No. 1, 'pour les cinq doigts' L. 136
    Prokofiev: Piano Sonata No. 7 in Bb Major, Op. 83
    Rachmaninoff: Piano Concerto No. 1 in F# minor, Op. 1


  10. #10
    KING OF THE CHOIR Member deathraider's Avatar
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    For some reason I could imagine the section from 2:20-2:30 as an organ piece. I think it reminded me of Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor in a bunch of places, so that's probably why.

    Performance by USU Chamber Singers: O Nata Lux
    Recording by members of the U of Utah Singers: Breath Eternal
    Performance by USU Chamber Singers:Gaudete omnes
    http://www.youtube.com/user/mrmcdoodles

  11. #11
    Believe and achieve. :] Member ajamesu's Avatar
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    My favorite part has to be the part from 55 to 72 as well. I also like 28 to 35. I agree that it does need better transitions, as I'm not too fond of the fermatas. I would also take out the accels.

    Measure 54 seems to come out of nowhere--Idk if that was intended, but I'd just fade out with a repeated G chord--maybe inverting along the way to the range of the next section. Also, the transition to section at 45 seems a bit jarring at first, Idk if that was intended as well.

    One variation you could do of the repeating theme is have the left hand pound out chords below and above the right hand on alternating beats.

    All in all, awesome piece.


    A lonely soul . . . an ocean soul . . .

  12. #12
    Transcriber Extraordinar Moderator PorscheGTIII's Avatar
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    Toronto Fantasy no. 1
    This was pretty neat. After listening, I realized I had used the same progression in one of my recent compositions (the one in measures five and six). I really think, though, after measure 44 could use a little more work. I dig the whole thirty-second note part, but I think more could have been done to make it sound jaw dropping. And as mentioned, transitions could use some work.

    Awesome work though. I remember you from a few years ago. Great to have you back!
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    Check out my transcribing status and future transcribing projects HERE!

    M: BELIEVE IN THE HEART OF THE LOLICON!

  13. #13
    Danteist Member Alfonso de Sabio's Avatar
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    I haven't been writing much lately, and I couldn't think of a way to improve the Toronto fantasy, but it's still on the back burner.

    I did, however, just realize that I'm approaching my fifth year anniversary as a member of this most esteemed of forums, so I decided to write a piece in the attitude of self-celebration. It's going to be a full string quartet, and I just finished the first movement. Hopefully I can have it all done by the actual date!
    Attached Files
    Get sheet music here!
    If you want to hear some of my compositions, click here.
    You can still hear Beethoven, but Beethoven cannot hear you.
    -- Monty Python

  14. #14

  15. #15
    Danteist Member Alfonso de Sabio's Avatar
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    yes? I hope that's not an exclimation of disguist....
    Get sheet music here!
    If you want to hear some of my compositions, click here.
    You can still hear Beethoven, but Beethoven cannot hear you.
    -- Monty Python

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