Marioverehrer's Compositions

[Marioverehrer]

Hello everyone!

I finally decided to open a thread for my compositions. Maybe you heard my composition "Harmonic Garden" in the composition contest. alpiso wrote that he got lost in the beginning part of the composition and I guessed that this could happen than I posted the composition. Maybe I will post a revised version after the contest is over.

Today I composed a very repetitive piece named "Dangerous". There are two versions of the piece, one mp3 I created with Finale and the other mp3 I created with vst- instruments in Fruity loops. Esspecially in the Finale version you hear that the left hand plays staccato in the frist part, although I didn't notated it in this way. Unfortunately I don't know to fix it.

I am thankful for all advices, opinions etc. you will give me and hope you enjoy my compositions.


Download - Dangerous


See you next time!

[Alfonso de Sabio]

Yeah, Finale will occasionally just do things. I've never figured out why it will suddenly get possessed like that. You might want to play with the reverberation settings.

For what it is, I feel like this is a good piece, but it seems unfinished. Develop it. Finish it. It sounds promising.

[alpiso]

I notice 2 things.

First, with the harmonic progression: Im, IIm is a progression which sound "hard".
It would be better to do : Im, IV/II or Im VII/II, but, of course, you lose your "effect".

The second: with VST instruments, it sounds better.
Did you try strings for the rythmic ? Perhaps with staccato they should play only eighth with some accents.
It should "replace" the piano which go up and down
oops a third : The brasses incoming on the second part are welcome

[Nyu001]

You got a lot of tension there that never was released in a cool new part. You left me hanging... ;_; It does sounds promising, like something exciting is going to happen!

[Marioverehrer]

Thank you for your comments.

I made a new and longer version of the piece, which considered Alphonso's advices. But I'm not merely satisfied with this version, so that I will make another one, which will consider alpino's advices as well. The piece has a whole repetition at 1:39, I wasn't sure if this piece should have a real endiing or not. I hope it's more exciting now, Nyu001.

Download - Dangerous (2nd Version)

I'm looking forward to your posts.

[Von Hohenheim]

Sorry, I left my computer on the page while I made a hot chocolate... it hadn't been posted

The ending's still not as much as it could be, in my view. It's just such a big, tense piece that having an ending like that is a little sad.

[Marioverehrer]

Then you should listen the second version^^.

[alpiso]

It's looking good !

I always have troubles with the chords progression, but : As Nyu001 and Alfonso said, you should do a "variation".
I mean, the piece seem to be an introduction to something spectacular (and I admit to wait it ).

If I was composing it, I should do a break, and give a rhythmic part with percussions (timpani, or others) and strings then give places to brasses (and maybe other instrument) to play the theme.

Keep going on.

[Marioverehrer]

Thank you guys for advices.

I kept working on the piece and now I am ready to post another version of the piece. Now the song has an ending, an appropriate length, no repetition and more variations, but the mood of the piece get never lost and has his climax in the ending part. I'm curious for your comments.

Download - Dangerous (3th Version)


Edit: When I heared my composition several times, I noticed that it takes to long until the trumpets comes again in the second part and the point where the horns play the melody the stringsplayed before doesn't sound so well in my opinion. So I made another version, where I deleted the 16 bars where the horns played before.

Compare it and say your opinion.

Download - Dangerous (4th Version)

[Alfonso de Sabio]

Well, repetition isn't necessarily a bad thing—just ask Philip Glass! And I do think you have an appropriate amount of repetition in here. In fact, this piece sounds a little minimalist, which I like. This is awesome. I love how it builds and builds until the conclusion. 10 points to Ravenclaw. Also, I really like the melodies you give the brass to counter the arpeggios.

Keep it coming!

[Ander]

It is sooo epic! I love it. Like a Giant approaching from afar. And it is still approaching. It's kind of comical, too, now that I think about it. Something from a Mel Brooks movie. I must say though... the ending is still not following up to the promise of the whole piece. I tried to figure out why that is, but I'm stuck myself. How about a chime? That might work.

[Marioverehrer]

This is quite funny, before I composed this piece I had the intention to compose a song about a creature that approaches from far away. Maybe I implemented this idea in this piece subcontiously, I should think to change the title.
I will try to make the end more interesting and more epic, chimes could truly help.

Now it's time to share another composition. I made this one 2,5 months ago and gave it the name "Cheerful". Have fun listening the song!

Download - Cheerful

[Alfonso de Sabio]

Could you post the sheet music for this? The counterpoint sounds kind of clumsy at times, and I'd like to see where and why.

[Marioverehrer]

Here is the sheet music:

Sheet music - Cheerful

I'm curious what you are going to say.

[Emeraldshine]

Some fun melodies! I do agree with Alphonso — the counterpoint is a little bit funny. I think you just have too many rhythms going on at once; just look at m. 41-43. What exactly do you want someone to hear in that passage? You need to be especially careful with syncopated figures, as those weaken the downbeat quite a bit. Also, the more complex your melody is, the simpler your accompaniment has to be. Measure 25 is okay, but then things keep getting more and more muddled. All this being said, I did enjoy this piece. Very "Cheerful" indeed!